


No way to go but up

by almaia



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - Canadian 21st c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-08-12 10:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7930891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaia/pseuds/almaia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ted Cruz is abducted prior to the 2016 Elections and is presumed dead after a few months. A disbelieving Marco Rubio sets out on a journey to find Ted Cruz only to encounter something he did not absolutely expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt that I gave to rubiotrudeaunewstrom from Tumblr where Ted Cruz is abducted by Rona Ambrose back to Calgary and gets reprogrammed to become more liberalized, to the disappointment of Marco Rubio.
> 
> Disclaimer: The content of this work is purely fictional even if the characters are real life figures and some real life events are referenced to. No disrespect and political bias is intended by this work.

"Alright, where the hell am I?" an irrate Ted Cruz asked after waking up to a dark room with his hands tied behind a chair, "Donald Trump, I know you're behind this! And no, I am not taking back what I said at the Republican National Convention! You might as well kill me now."

"Oh, the Zodiac Killer has finally awoken." a female voice said as a pair of footsteps grew louder, "No, Donald Trump is not responsible for this. We're getting rid of him too, but, we need to deal with you first."

"I will have you know that I am NOT the Zodiac Killer!" Ted said in the toughest tone possible, "And by the way, who the hell are you?" he added, hoping to get an answer as soon as possible so he could try to talk his way out of this.

"Rona Ambrose, Leader of the Canadian Opposition." the female voice said, "And you must be Senator Ted Cruz. The man who shut down the US Government with his Filibustering."

"Yes, I did in fact shut down the US Government, but only because it wasn't doing it's job right." Ted said with great pride, remembering the 21-hour marathon speech he made which at one point involved reading a bedtime story to his daughters as well as having Marco Rubio take the floor so he could go use the toilet.  _Oh Marco_...he thought. "Alright Miss Ambrose."

"That's the Right Honourable Leader of the Opposition to you!" Rona shouted

"Alright Right Honourable Leader of the Opposition," Ted said, taking a deep breath afterwards, "Why am I here and what do you want from me?"

"Well, you see, you were born in Calgary and you spent a bit of your childhood there." Rona explained, "And you really haven't revoked your Canadian citizenship yet."

"And what does that have to do with you forcefully taking me from the United States?" Ted asked the Opposition Leader.  _I'd like to hear what she's up to_ , he thought.

"Mr. Harper, the former Prime Minister and Member of Parliament for Calgary Heritage in Alberta, has resigned as the MP for his riding." Rona told Ted, "And because of that, the riding needs a new MP. Now, as the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, it is my job to help find a replacement for him and frankly, we've had a hard time - we simply don't have people qualified enough to replace Mr. Harper for that position."

"So am I supposed to help you find a new MP for his riding?" Ted found it strange that he had to be abducted for that purpose. Why couldn't she just walk into his office and discuss this to him properly like normal politicians do? 

"No, you will become the new MP for his riding." Rona said with a firm voice this time, "With that, you have to undergo necessary training you'll need to ensure that you've been elected."

"But I'd need to be a member of your party first!" Ted protested

"I have taken care of that." Rona reassured the Texas Senator and soon to be Calgary Heritage MP, "For now, leave the United States behind. _You're a Canadian once again._ "


	2. Chapter 2

"Senator Ted Cruz of Texas has been reported missing since August 28 and authorities are currently searching for evidences relating to his disappearance. The Texas Senator was last seen leaving his residence earlier on the day he was reported missing. Heidi Cruz is on the phone to tell us the progress of the investigation on her husband's disappearance."

It has been five days since Ted Cruz has gone missing and Marco Rubio has grown worried each passing day. Marco had tried calling Ted's phone but it came to no avail. "Out of coverage area" was the only thing he's heard whenever he attempted to phone Ted. There were still no leads to his Texan colleague's disappearance. Marco may have won the GOP Senatorial Primary for Florida but that didn't stop him from being worried over Ted's safety. 

"It's been five days since my husband disappeared. When we last checked with the authorities, they were able to give us a possible lead to the situation. CCTV footage showed his parked car being towed away and that was followed by footage of him being approached by someone appearing to be a parking enforcer who proceeded to knock him out with his elbow before dragging him away." 

As Heidi spoke, the CCTV footage she talked about was shown on the television. Marco paid great attention to the footage, hoping to recognize the perpetrator who has taken his _dear_ Ted. From what he had seen, the "parking enforcer" seemed to have white hair and a face that looked rather void of emotion and his movement seemed to be mechanical...as if he were a robot. 

When Heidi had finished speaking, Marco rewound the footage and stared much closer to the television screen as the CCTV footage played again. When it came to the part where Ted was approached by the "parking enforcer", he slowed down the footage so he could get a better look at the situation. Marco paid special attention to the parking enforcer-slash-Ted's suspected abductor. 

"It can't be..." Marco said as his eyes widened. He knew very well that the face looked really familiar. He has seen that face around many times on the television. He remembers seeing that man in a picture where Justin Bieber was dressed up like a farmer. 

"Marco! Dinner's ready!" his wife, Jeanette, called from the dining room. Marco stood up and made his way to the dining room but his latest discovery was still lingering in his mind. It couldn't possibly be that man. He's never seen that man as someone capable of carrying out the crime of abducting a US Senator, or let alone, anyone really. 

Marco muttered to himself, "Stephen Harper, you'll regret ever living in this world. Just watch me!"

* * *

 

"Mr. Harper, you need not worry." Rona said in the most reassuring voice, "We have found someone to run under the Conservative Party in your riding."

Rona and the former Prime Minister and MP for Calgary Heritage were walking through the hallways of Stornoway, the official residence of the Leader of the Opposition in Canada. Stephen Harper had been called to the residence on that day for an important meeting with the Opposition Leader and this important meeting dealt with his successor. Reaching the top floor of the residence, Rona opened the door to the room at the end of the hallway.

"Is that the man you've chosen to replace me?" Stephen asked in the most bland tone ever as he spotted the person in question that Rona had told him about, "The one they call the Zodiac Killer?"

"I am NOT the Zodiac Killer!" Ted said from the desk where he was situated

"Yes, we've chosen Ted Cruz as your successor." Rona said this in the most confident tone possible. A part of her knew that Stephen Harper would question it but now, she must put her foot down as the Leader of the Conservative Party to tell the ex-parliamentarian that Ted Cruz is the best choice they have as of the moment, "We have checked his records and it turns out his Canadian citizenship has not been revoked yet. We have also done the necessary processes to put a stop to such process on his citizenship. The date of the by-election for your riding has yet to be announced so we still have much time to re-orient Mr. Cruz on how politics goes around here in his birth country."

"Rona, this better work out well." Stephen told the Opposition Leader, "I did not risk to fly to Texas to drag him back to Canada and see disappointing results afterwards. I have full faith in you to restore the Conservative Party as the leading party." 

"Oh, Mr. Harper. Mr. Cruz will definitely be an asset to your riding and to our party." Rona was very determined to have Harper replaced by an MP who is completely different from him. He did this partly to spite Stephen Harper for the times he tried to destroy her career. Yes, 2004 was still fresh in her mind, "In a week's time, we will get him a property in your riding and we'll have him acquainted with the voters there. It will be amazing, Mr. Harper."

* * *

 

Back at the White House, Barack Obama was drowned with paperwork on his desk when suddenly, the phone on his office rang. Putting on his most inconvenienced face, he picked up the phone, thinking,  _I am drowned with paperwork, this better be important!_ . "Mr. President, the Prime Minister of Canada is on Line 3."

"Alright, put him in." Barack said.  _Oh thank God! It's Justin who's calling. I am down for a conversation with him_. The US President waited briefly before the caller on Line 3 was successfully connected to his office's phone. 

"President Obama! It's been quite some time since I last called you." the perky Canadian Prime Minister's voice said on the other line

"You called me last week!" Barack said in a jokingly irrate voice, before letting out a laugh, "Of course Justin, I'm down to discuss some things with you regarding this  _dudeplomacy_ we have here."

"I would like to reassure you that I am totally not replacing you with a  _Genius, Billionaire_ , _Playboy_ , _Philanthropist_." Justin said, referring to the information he's received on people pairing him up with Tony Stark in a romantic matter. Thanks a lot to that Marvel Comic where he became a character. He wonders why no one ever paired his father up with Wolverine - after all, his father was featured in a comic where the Canadian government took Wolverine.

Barack knew about people shipping his dear Justin with Tony Stark from the Avengers. Sure, Tony is just a fictional character but deep inside, Barack felt pretty jealous. It's like he wants the G20 summit to just come already so he can finally meet Justin again and show the world that they still have _close diplomatic relations_ that remains unbreakable.

"I accept your reassurance." Barack said, "Now down to the more serious stuff. Has the Zodiac Killer been transported to Canada?" he asked. Zodiac Killer, by the way, was the codename that the two leaders have used to refer to Senator Ted Cruz. 

"He has been transported into my country and we will begin the process of reprogramming him." Justin spoke, "Rona Ambrose, who you've met during your recent visit to the House of Commons, is overseeing the process. After being reprogrammed, Mr. Cruz will be standing in as a candidate for the Calgary Heritage riding as you may have known, Mr. Harper has stepped down as the MP for the said riding. You chose the perfect time to have us reprogram the Zodiac Killer."

"Justin, liberalize him, but not too much okay. Certain parts of his conservatism need to be preserved, as to prevent suspicion from people over his reprogramming." Barack instructed, "And of course, tell him that he has to start going by a name other than Ted Cruz. Rafael Cruz perhaps, or even Edward Cruz. That way, people would suspect less that he is the missing US Senator. Lastly, you better tweak the way he looks too. You know what to do."

"Of course Barack." Justin answered, "We will take utmost care in making sure that the Zodiac Killer's reprogramming is successful."


	3. Chapter 3

"As your  _future_ Member of Parliament, I shall see to it that the concerns that our riding will be raising to the federal level will be addressed accordingly. I work to represent your interests and through this opportunity to represent you all in Parliament, I hope to give back to the place that raised me in the first few years of my life. I am Rafael Cruz of the Conservative Party and I am counting on all of you to put your trust on me as your next MP."

"Rafael, I need to hear more conviction." Rona said in a stern voice. She had started getting used to addressing Ted Cruz as "Rafael" as it was part of the reprogramming plan to have the Texas Senator assume a new identity, "With the way you spoke, do you even think you can gain enough votes to beat Brendan Miles? You are relatively unknown in your riding and besides being handpicked by their former MP to succeed him, the other thing that will convince them to remain voting for the Conservatives is your conviction."

"Shall I start over then?" Ted asked as he tried to mask his irritation over the fact that he had gone through rounds of training for his candidacy as an MP yet Rona Ambrose still remains unimpressed. It has been a couple of weeks since this training started. It started with him having to get used to getting addressed by his given name rather by his nickname - and then Rona sent him to a hairdresser to have his hair altered. It turned out that the hairdresser he got sent to was also the Prime Minister's hairdresser.  _What a coincidence!_ , he thought.

"Well, we could really use-" Rona spoke, only to stop mid-sentence by the presence of a person she had been expecting to drop by on that day. No other than the Prime Minister himself. Ted was clueless about this. Why would the Leader of the Opposition divulge one of her "secret weapons" to the Prime Minister? Unless of course, it is a show of force.

"Ah, Rona!" Justin said as he leaned by the door frame of the living room in Stornoway, "I see you finally got around to teaching Rafael Cruz the basics of becoming an MP!" He as well had to remember to address Ted by his given name. It was an instruction given to him by the US President himself. 

"Well, if it isn't the man I debated with some ten years ago!" Ted remarked, "Nothing has changed except that you're now Prime Minister and I'm on my way to becoming one of Rona's backbenchers."

"Look Justin, I've had a hard time dealing with Rafael here." Rona spoke, "I believe you've overheard him making that campaign speech. _Error 404: Conviction not found_ as the millenials would put it! Maybe you can help me fix this?"

Justin let out a mischievous smile as he eyed on Ted, "How about I debate with him? Just to see if you've done well so far. After all, he is learning from the best. The only one who can actually beat me in debates. The only one worthy of becoming Prime Minister besides myself."

Rona eyed mischievously on Justin and said, "I'm glad you actually admitted that I am better than you!" It has always been like that for the two of them. Despite the fact that they came from opposing parties, that they led these parties - Rona and Justin had a close relationship outside of the session hall. It mostly involved playful bantering for the two but sometimes, it extends to Sophie and Rona talking behind his back in Spanish, a language they both are fluent in (and the language he doesn't understand quite well - sometimes he thinks Sophie and Rona had also talked behind his back to the Mexican President during the Three Amigos Summit). 

"You were the only reason I survived the Harper government." Justin said with a laugh, "Oh, and I remember 2006, that time I first saw you, granted it was a disappointing start but ten years later and I find myself telling people that I'd love to get to know you more."

"Now you're just bluffing!" Rona exclaimed, "And by the way, Sophie uses you as a guinea pig for when she tries a new style. I should really borrow you from her sometime for such purpose!"

Ted was visibly uncomfortable while listening to the exchange between the two and so he told them, "I really think we should get back to helping me prepare for the Calgary Heritage By-Elections."

"Rule number one, Rafael." Rona said, "Get ready to tolerate those kinds of conversations because people are more liberalized here. Of course, we don't talk about that on parliament but outside? It happens. Get used to it."

"Rule number two." Justin said as he took his coat off, dropping it to the ground, "You better loosen up, Rafael! Even your future Conservative colleagues aren't as bland as you are."

"Have I ever told you that the people back in the United States think I'm the Zodiac Killer." Ted said with a menacing smile, "What if I told you that I was actually the Zodiac Killer? That they were definitely right!" he added, chuckling as if he was really serious about it.

Ted should have been careful with what he was saying because all of a sudden, Justin threw a punch on his head, sending him down the floor unconscious. Rona rushed to take his pulse, worried that Justin might have killed him - although that wasn't likely to happen. "My, Rona...looks like your days as Health Minister still hasn't left you!" Justin remarked.

"Oh, he's still alive." Rona said, shrugging afterwards, "Get your ass down here and give me a hand. We're keeping him somewhere until he regains consciousness. As to prevent suspicion from anyone who could walk into us."

"Wow! It's like we're actually hiding a dead body." Justin said, laughing.

"No we're not! He's alive. I just said he's alive." Rona spoke

The pair carried the unconscious Texan back to his bedroom on the top floor of Stornoway. When they were able to set Ted down his bed, Justin could not help but start lamenting as he looked around the room, "My mother used to stay here before she officially separated with my father." he quipped. 

"Does this room ever give you bad memories? We could go out right now if you want." Rona told him

"No...I've healed from it." Justin spoke, "It's just that I remember this was the exact room. Speaking of rooms here, I thought I could show you where I used to stay in here - from you know, way back when papa was the Opposition Leader after his first term as Prime Minister."

"Well then, take me there! I've gone around this house but I never paid attention on where the previous occupants stayed around here." Rona said. She was really curious which of those rooms used to be her Prime Minister's. 

* * *

"Senator Ted Cruz has been presumed dead. It has been two months since his disappearance and until now, there are no leads as to who is responsible for his apparent death. Earlier today, what appeared to be his body was found in Vancouver, Canada. It is yet to be determined if it is indeed the dead body of the Texas Senator and as we speak, the body is undergoing autopsy."

Tears started to well up on Marco's eyes as he listened to the news report. He could not believe it...his _dear_ Ted may be dead - and in another country, in fact! He just hoped that it was a mistaken identity and the dead body belonged to someone else who happened to look like Ted. He knows that somewhere out there, Ted is alive and well. As he watched the news report, his wife is talking to Heidi Cruz over the phone, consoling her over the possible loss that she is experiencing.

His phone vibrated and when he checked it, it was a message from an unknown number saying, "I think I know where Ted is." and Marco, being desperate enough to look for Ted, called up the number.

"Hello? This is Marco Rubio. Mind if I know who this is?" Marco asked in a somewhat shaky voice. He just wanted to go straight to finding Ted's whereabouts.

"It's Gary Johnson. I know where Ted is and if you meet me up after my campaign rally in Miami tomorrow, I can give you the information." the voice on the other line said

"Are there strings attached?" Marco asked in a determined voice this time

"No strings attached." Gary replied, "All you have to do is to see me tomorrow and you'll be on your way to finding Ted Cruz."

"Thank you!" Marco said in a seemingly relieved voice this time, "I'll catch you tomorrow!"

Meanwhile at the White House, Barack Obama watched the television with a look of victory in his eyes. Sitting right across his desk was none other than Bernie Sanders who was also watching the news report onscreen intently.

"I had to go through a lot of morgues looking for unclaimed bodies that resemble Ted Cruz." Bernie said as he took a sip of gin and tonic, "Looks like they're actually buying it."

"This was your idea, after all." Barack told Bernie, "And frankly, it's a good one. Better than Joe's idea of simply declaring the Texas senator an MIA. Everyone will think Trump had something to do with this with how heavy the situation has become. And we didn't even need to involve ourselves. People simply decided that Trump is a possible culprit. I mean look at this." 

Bernie took the iPhone from Barack's hand and scrolled down the Tweets of people pointing the blame on Donald Trump for Ted Cruz's apparent death, "And what is the next step to this?"

"Now, the US Senate has to call Donald Trump for investigation." Barack spoke, "It is expected that Marco Rubio will do the honors as he is after all, one of the most influential Republican senators around. You may also take the move but better leave it to Marco. Let the Republicans take down Trump themselves. They deserve the honor and we should have as less as possible to do with that."

"What about Hillary. Is there a contribution she has to make on this?" Bernie asked

"She will likely make a statement on Senator Cruz's "death" but besides that, none. She will put her focus on her campaign while we see to it that Trump gets jailed for this." Barack answered

Bernie's phone then rang and when he picked it up, it came from an unknown number but he still took the risk to answer it anyway, "Bernie Sanders here, may I know who this is?"

"Jill Stein. Presidential candidate for the Green Party. Somehow I knew that you and the Democratic Party have plans to take out Trump and I would like to say that I'm in! No strings attached." Jill said in a snappy voice

"Oh, looks like we have one more on our team!" Bernie said to Barack. Barack, meanwhile, looked very pleased. He had not expected their efforts to get rid of Trump to be supported by other parties. Especially the Green Party whose Presidential candidate visibly has a hatred for Hillary.

Barack then snatched the phone from Bernie's hand and spoke to Jill, "Alright Doctor Stein, you're on board with us - but first, we would like to ask you a few questions tomorrow so if it is alright with you, come here to the White House tomorrow at nine in the morning. Bernie and I will be expecting you."


	4. Chapter 4

Ted woke up with his face throbbing and as he looked up the window, the sun was already setting. Not to mention that he just found out that he is lying on the floor of his room on the attic of Stornoway that has been his home for a couple of months. As he was lying on his side, one ear of his was pressed to the floor and he could hear the muffled noises coming from the floor below. 

 _This looked way better when I stayed here!_ , a male voice said

 _Only because your father did the decorating for you!_ , a female voice answered

 _Hey, let me show you something_ , the male voice said, followed by the sound of what seems to be a heavy piece of furniture...like a bed, being moved

Curious on what was happening downstairs, Ted forced himself to get up and he ventured out of the room as he rubbed his face to relieve the throbbing that was still there. He slowly went down the staircase, hoping not to get attention from the two people he was trying to discreetly look for. He walked up to the room with an open door, where the noise he heard from upstairs may have been from. Peering into the door, he found Justin being pinned face down to the bed by a laughing Rona.

" _Fuddle Duddle?_ Really, Justin? Do you have anything better than that to vandalize on the walls of a state residence?" Rona said as she pinned one arm of the Canadian Prime Minister on his back, "You just ruined my bedroom!" she jokingly added.

"Blame my nine year-old self for it. I would have put something like "Blaze it 420!" if I had been older than that by the time my father was briefly in opposition after his first term." Justin replied as he tried to stop himself from laughing, "My father never knew about the vandalism you saw - and neither did the opposition leaders that came after him. You're the first one. I can't believe it!"

"You know I could have you arrested for defacing government property." Rona said in a half-serious tone, "But since I'm nice to you this time, I'll let it slip." she added as she released Justin's arm from her grip. Rona then turned around and saw Ted by the door.

"Don't mind me, I was just about to get down to grab myself some water." Ted was about as red as a tomato now - after he has been caught red-handed by Rona looking at her and Justin earlier on.

"Oh, Rafael's here?" Justin asked as he sat up on the bed. He was definitely surprised of seeing the ex-Texas senator and soon to be Member of Parliament for Calgary Heritage outside the door of his former bedroom - NO! - Rona's bedroom. 

Rona walked towards the door and leaned by the door frame, just a few inches closer to where Ted is standing, "Justin and I have a _rather_ close relationship. The same goes between his wife and I. You should be getting used to it, seeing that you will be frequenting this place often."

Ted was simply reduced to silence after Rona spoke to him. Nothing like this ever happened back in the United States. Even the Trumps and Clintons were not _that_ close. He could swear that he would prefer this over the politics of the United States any day. He'd rather that he could put on his argument boots knowing that the people he'd argue with are assured that at the end of the day, it is nothing personal. 

"Hey, Rafael? You alright there?" Rona said as she waved her palm across Ted's face. This brought Ted back to reality. His future boss was still standing by the door frame, his future opponent in the Parliament was looking at him, as if waiting for him to say something. 

"It's just that...there's nothing like this in the United States. Where y'all can go into playful banter because y'all know it's nothing personal." Ted explained as he tugged his collar. He hopes she stops probing him because honestly, he's not yet that ready to open up to these Canadians he barely knows. A few months isn't enough for him to fully establish what kind of people they are.

"Oh my gosh! His Texan is showing!" Justin shouted from the bed when he heard Ted dish out his "y'all"s. Not that he found it offending or un-Canadian, of course. He was just shocked to find out that somehow, Ted's Texan side hasn't been touched by the programming that the Conservatives have been doing to him. No rush though, they still had some time to take that out of the programming for as long as the Calgary Heritage by-elections has not yet been announced.

"Texan? What Texan?" Ted said. He was very well aware that he had to keep that side of himself off from public view. Especially if he were to re-emerge in the world as a Canadian MP. People would start to have suspicions the moment he starts throwing Texan expressions while debating against the Liberals. Then he'd get deported to the United States if someone decides to go start a petition for it the same way the Americans petitioned for Canada to take Justin Bieber back.

Justin stood up and joined Rona by the door, eyeing Ted Cruz with that glare that some of his beloved Truhearts would describe as "seductive". He just did that to gauge Ted's reaction. Would Ted start bashing the LGBT community or would he just run away from horror? But instead, Ted found himself blushing and gushing internally,  _No, no, no, this can't be! I have a wife and children back in the United States!_ , he thought.

"Well Rafael? What are you hiding? Everyone in Canada knows I'm irresistible. Just admit it!" Justin teased as he opened up a few buttons from his top. Ted's jaws dropped by the sight of this. He was not sure how he was to react. Rona could not help but laugh at him. 

But boy, Ted was going to get used to this! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After such a long time, I have finally updated this fanfiction! To everyone who has been waiting for the next chapter of this, I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update. By the next weekend, another chapter will be out so stay tuned for that!

_October 2016_

"And the winner of the Conservative Party nomination for the riding of Calgary-Heritage is..." 

Stephen Harper has been waiting for this very moment. Finally, he was going to find out whether Rona Ambrose and Justin Trudeau's idea of having Ted Cruz (now known as Rafael Cruz) come back to Canada was going to work. You see, despite the fact that Ted is the clear favorite, other Conservative Party members were allowed to put themselves up for nomination, of course, to make it look like there was no bias in the process. Bob Henzen for one thing, was another favorite to win. Only because he was "more Canadian" than Ted Cruz. He was just a business owner with 47 followers on Twitter while Ted Cruz, has many more followers than that and is a high profile figure thanks to his attempt to become the Republican nominee.

"...Rafael Cruz"

Cheering was heard throughout the multipurpose hall in which the nomination results were announced. And soon enough, Ted was approached by Rona Ambrose and Stephen Harper, who both congratulated him for his victory. Then came Bob Henzen.

"Mr. Cruz, congratulations on your victory as the Conservative Party candidate of this riding!" Bob told Ted after he shook hands with him, "With the rest of this riding, we hope you'll put us in good hands." 

"You're welcome, Bob." Ted told him, "It is an honor to be given the chance to serve the city where I was born. The trust that all of you have manifested towards me will be kept. I will be your voice at the Federal Level."

"Rafael, now that you have secured the nomination. I want you to work really hard as you campaign." Stephen told Ted, "You are not just Calgary-Heritage's only hope but Canada's as well. When Rona steps down as Interim Leader, it is your turn to take the reins from her and bring the Conservative Party to victory." he added.

"Rafael, do not disappoint your constituents and above all, do not disappoint the Canadian people!" Rona was feeling optimistic that Ted would consider running for the Conservative Party Leadership in the next year, "You might just be the next Prime Minister. Think of it as giving back to the country that you were born in. Without Canada, you wouldn't be the man that you are today."

"And besides, you've debated Justin Trudeau. You should not have a hard time facing him on Question Period." Stephen remarked. Oh yes, he remembered finding out about how Justin Trudeau claimed to beat Ted Cruz in a debate. He believes otherwise. He strongly believes that Ted was the one who won the debate. 

* * *

 

> _Marco,_
> 
> _I have told you previously that Ted Cruz is alive and breathing in Canada. What I have not told you is the exact place in Canada that he is in. No worries, Marco, for I have already retrieved such information. He is in Calgary. The Conservatives just handed him the nomination as their candidate to the Calgary Heritage by-elections. Yes you heard that right, he is now attempting to enter Canadian politics. He now goes by the name of Rafael Cruz._
> 
> _-Gary Johnson_

Marco was bewildered as he received the note from Gary Johnson. Weeks earlier, Gary had told him that Ted was in Canada but besides that, he could not offer any more information, claiming that as of that moment, it was the only information he had on Ted's whereabouts. Now, he has found out that the Texan Senator is in Calgary, starting a political career under another name, which is really just his birth name. Rafael Cruz sounded like a generic name anyway, and the American Media doesn't bother covering a by-election in Canada.  _What a perfect cover-up_ , Marco thought.

And so, Marco started booking his tickets to Calgary. Oh, he was going to look for Ted and he sure as heck hopes that Gary wasn't tricking him on this. What if this Rafael Cruz was an entirely different person and Gary just convinced him it was Ted because Rafael Cruz happens to be Ted's birth name. But hey, he wasn't going to turn down this chance. Gary may be right after all. 

"Ted,  _mi amor_ , I am coming to save you!" Marco muttered as he frantically waited for his booking to be confirmed. 

It was going to be a long journey for Marco and he had high hopes that flying down to the Midwest of the Great White North will be all worth it and that he will really find Ted Cruz there, hopefully safe and sound as Gary claimed.


	6. Chapter 6

_Miami International Airport - Departure Area_

Marco anxiously waited for his flight to start accepting passengers. A few days back, Gary Johnson had told him that if he wanted to find Ted, he would need to fly to Calgary in Alberta. Determined he was, so he booked his tickets. For this trip, he was to enter Canada through Toronto and from there, he'd take a flight to Calgary. For most of this day, he would be in transit. His wife had asked why he needed to fly to Canada, he told her that it was for official business. 

His phone buzzed and it was another text message from Gary Johnson and it read:

> _Good luck Marco. If your flights leave on time, you might be able to catch Ted in the evening at Calgary's City Hall. He apparently has an engagement there._

In a rush, Marco opened up Safari on his iPhone and looked up for directions going from Calgary's airport to its City Hall. He had to get there quickly once he sets foot in Calgary and hopefully, talk sense into Ted and bring him back to the United States unharmed.

* * *

Ted's home in Calgary was a two-bedroom bungalow despite the fact that he was the only occupant. He tried to bring this up to Stephen Harper, who told him that it was for his wife and children, who would be brought into Canada if he won as the MP of Calgary Heritage. That alone made Ted take his masquerade of a Canadian politician more seriously. At this point, he wanted nothing more but to be reunited with his wife and children. Even if it takes winning an election as a Canadian politician.

"Mr. Cruz, your courtesy call to the City Hall will be in a few hours." Laureen Harper spoke, "And as such, I would need to brief you on what happens and what you are going to do." she added. Laureen Harper had filled in the role of Ted Cruz's campaign manager because Stephen was busy with his consultancy and she wanted to give politics a second chance in a role different from being the First Lady of Canada. 

"Alright then, Mrs. Harper. Enlighten me." Ted said as he leaned by the doorframe of his room, "What am I supposed to know about Naheed Nenshi?"

"Naheed does not belong to any political party and as such, meeting him would be safe to your candidacy." Laureen explained, "You might be asking,  _Why the fuck do I need to meet the Mayor of Calgary when he doesn't even live in my riding_?, and Rafael, here is my answer - if elected, you and your fellow Calgary MPs will work closely with him."

"So this is a lot different from the US Senate right? Because I got to represent an entire state. This time, I'd only represent a small part of Calgary." Ted was still trying to wrap it around his head on how this whole representing a riding in Canada works. Even the State Senate didn't work like this, if he could recall correctly.

"That's right." Laureen was impressed that Ted was willing to ask her questions when he didn't understand something. She always thought he was a pain to work with, especially when she heard Justin Trudeau rant about him one time - that one time when he admitted that he had debated against him, "Forget everything you know about politics because it works a bit different here in Canada. I'm glad you're actually asking questions here."

"Right...forget everything I know about politics." Ted muttered. This was definitely starting from scratch for him, considering that Canada's politics worked differently from the US. Here, they had a Prime Minister. Back at home, that was called a President. Here, the head of government was not directly elected - in the United States, the head of government is directly elected and is also a head of state.

* * *

_Toronto Pearson International Airport_

Marco found himself rushing at the airport once he had set foot in Toronto. Immigration wasn't that hard which was a relief for him. Stories of Canada being friendly to foreigners were true, after all. Moving from one terminal to another, Marco made sure to keep himself together. It would be a shame if he ran into an accident while trying to get to his flight going to Calgary. 

Instead, he ran into his fangirls...in Canada! Oh, he had no idea that he had fans even in Canada. 

"Mr. Rubio, can I have a selfie with you?" 

"Mr. Rubio, can you say hi to the camera? It's for my Snapchat!"

"Marco, can I kiss you on the cheeks?"

"My selfie with Marco is going to my Instagram!" 

Left and right, he was swamped by his fangirls who took turns posing for pictures with him, took turns appearing in their snaps. All he could do at this point was just nod to tell them that yes, they can pose for pictures with him, they can include him in their snaps. He has never been swarmed this much since his (failed) Presidential campaign. 

"I-I really need to go." Marco said in between the screaming of his fangirls, "I have a flight to catch, going to Calgary. It was nice meeting you all!" and with that, one of the fangirls made a quick phone call, presumably to another friend - shouting about how Marco Rubio is coming to her hometown. That made Marco's stomach sink for some reason - knowing that he still won't be able to escape his fangirls even in Calgary.

When the fangirls finally disbanded, Marco ran as fast as he could to get through security check and to head straight to his boarding gate. Checking the time, his flight was still an hour away from boarding. _Phew! I thought I was really going to run late_ , he thought. Checking his phone, a text message from Heidi Cruz appeared and it said:

> _I heard Gary Johnson has sent you to Canada to find my husband. Marco, promise me you'll bring him home safe, alright. Caroline, Catherine and I miss him dearly._

And his first thought was, "How did Heidi Cruz even get my number?". He never remembered giving out his personal mobile number to Ted's wife, even as the Cruz and Rubio families have grown closer after he and Ted dropped out from the Presidential race. Marco tried to clear up his mind, reminding himself that he is not to let Heidi expect too much. Then he texted back saying:

> _I'll do my best to bring Ted home_

He swore he could have also admitted then and there in that text message that he loved Ted dearly. But that's something that neither his wife or Ted's know about and it is better off for them not to know that. At this point, his goal was to find Ted and talk him into coming home to the United States - whether he's already elected into the Canadian Parliament or not by the time he arrives in Calgary.

* * *

"Mr. Cruz, it is an honor for us to have you here this afternoon!" Naheed Nenshi, the Mayor of Calgary spoke, "Laureen had told me about your attempts to advance your political career in the United States and your realization that it's better for you to run back into Mother Canada's arms." 

"Thank you, Mayor Nenshi!" Ted found it a condescending thing that his return to Canada has been termed as "running back into Mother Canada's arms" by the Mayor of Calgary. He totally didn't run back into Mother Canada's arms - he was dragged into it by the Prime Minister, the Leader of the Opposition and Stephen Harper! Nevertheless, he had to play his part and not blow his cover. Whenever he attempted blowing his cover, he is reminded of never seeing his wife and daughters again if he does not win the elections.

"Well Rafael, we need more noble men to serve this city and we are indeed glad that you have taken the call." Naheed said as he, Ted and Laureen walked by the corridors of the Calgary City Hall. Ted took note of the details on the corridor they used - this one had pictures of Calgary's past mayors on it and he could not help but wonder if one of the past mayors at the time he last lived in Canada has ever kissed him as a baby during their election campaigns. 

"Mayor Nenshi, you will find a valuable ally in me. Trust me, I can help you make Calgary greater than it already is!" Ted said with enthusiasm and at some point, thought he was sounding more like Trump with this whole "making [insert place here] great/er" thing. But hey, he's not going to ask the Prime Minister to build a wall between the United States and Canada and make the Americans pay for it, "If I get elected, I'll see to it that the interests of the people in my riding, who are still citizens of your city, by the way, will be represented in Parliament. That's going to be a stepping stone for us to make Calgary stronger."

As Ted, Mayor Nenshi and Laureen ventured further into the Calgary City Hall, a taxi had pulled up by the entrance. In that taxi was Marco Rubio, with his luggage on tow. He was hoping that Gary Johnson was actually right. After paying the driver, he headed into the city hall, making sure that his grip on his luggage is tight - then he went from corridor to corridor, hoping to find a sign of Ted.

Next, he rode an elevator, choosing the top floor as his destination. This was because he assumed that the Ted must be in the Mayor's office and that the Mayor's office must be in the top floor. Like how it usually is in American City Halls. Marco took care to remember a few French phrases in case someone stops him when the elevator doors open. Not that he was ignorant that Canadians mostly spoke English but he wanted to be on his element even if it's a French Canadian that he would have to be facing. 

The elevator door opened to the top floor and just in time, he saw Ted pass by with a man and a woman. He assumed that one of the people Ted is with has to be the Mayor of Calgary. Not wasting any time, he followed them - taking care to be discrete. Last thing he wanted was to get kicked out of the City Hall and missing his chance to see Ted. 

His stealth mode wasn't there for long after he tripped by accident on the floor, bringing his luggage down along with him and getting the attention of the three people he was following. 

"A-are you alright?" Naheed said as he rushed to Marco's side. Marco was surprised that his first words weren't "Call the security!". Looks like that was another one confirmed in the books for this whole Canadians being overwhelmingly nice thing. Marco sat up and nodded to Naheed to tell him that he was alright despite falling on the floor with his luggage. 

"Marco?" Ted said as he rushed to Marco's side as well, leaving Laureen standing and looking at the three men who were now on the floor, "W-why are you in Calgary?" he asked.

Marco turned to face Ted with longing in his eyes, "Gary Johnson offered to help me find you and I believe he was right after all. You were indeed here, under a new name. Rafael Cruz, is it?" 

"But my legal name IS Rafael Cruz!" Ted chuckled, "We've known each other pretty long and you managed to forget that. Get up, Marco!" he added, offering Marco a hand. Marco took Ted's hand and stood up as Naheed handed him his luggage.

"You must be Senator Marco Rubio from Florida." Laureen spoke, "You must be a good friend of Ted's, right?" She asked anyway, even if she knew that Marco and Ted had a friendship, a really _special friendship_ in fact - kinda like Barack Obama's and Justin Trudeau's or like hers and Rona Ambrose's. 

"Y-yes, of course." Marco said, managing to keep himself composed even after being caught by the three people he followed around earlier, "I came here to see Ted off before he becomes a Member of your Parliament. It's unfortunate really, that he didn't have the time to tell me about it back in the United States." But he knew that Ted didn't leave without letting him know - he was forcibly taken away from the United States!

"I've got an important call to make." Laureen spoke as she fiddled with her phone, "You three can go ahead, I will catch up later."

* * *

_Prime Minister's Office, Ottawa, Canada_

"What do you mean Marco Rubio found him?" Justin said in a distressed tone as Rona tried to call up Stephen Harper in the background, "I thought you and Stephen managed to make this foolproof or something. Rona said you two have taken care of Ted. How the hell did Rubio find Ted's whereabouts?"

"Stephen Joseph Harper, you have a shitload of explaining to do!" And boy! Rona was very upset. He had trusted the Harpers to make sure none of the Americans except Obama would be able to find out about Ted's whereabouts, "Marco Rubio just met Ted Cruz at the Calgary City Hall. Laureen just called Justin about it while we were having a meeting!"

"So this Gary Johnson fella, huh?" Justin was onto something after Laureen had told him that a certain Gary Johnson was able to obtain information on Ted Cruz's whereabouts. Perhaps this Gary Johnson had been in Canada and saw Ted campaigning for the Calgary Heritage by-elections. 

"Well Stephen, a man named Gary Johnson gave away information about Ted's whereabouts. Do you happen to know him?" Rona asked, sensing that Stephen Harper must have divulged the information by accident to the people who come and go to his consultancy, "Oh, so he popped by your consultancy once?" 

"Okay Laureen, you have to think up of a Plan B to keep Marco out of the way." Justin was already sweating by now, sensing that his cover is about to be blown, "Is that understood?"

"Well Justin, your predecessor here and my ex-boss just blurted out our plans to this Gary Johnson bloke weeks ago!" Rona was about to snap, Justin could see, "Stephen says Gary had asked him about the Calgary Heritage by-elections and Stephen spoke about Ted Cruz being his possible replacement. Yes, they spoke prior to Ted's nomination."

"This is just awful!" Justin was now banging his head on his desk or as the millenials who voted him in would call it, a _headdesk_ , "Should I call Barack?"

"If it's going to help us, then do it." Rona just wanted this over with. She wanted Gary Johnson to pay for this if that was a possibility, "But it's your call, Mr. Prime Minister."


	7. Chapter 7

It was only a few days before that fateful day of 2016 in the United States, the November 8 elections. In an attempt to calm their nerves down, Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein found themselves at a Five Guys.

“Okay, so Trump just got outed by _Newsweek_ on his email scandals.” Jill spoke, with enthusiasm radiating on her face, “That’s quite unexpected, coming from a man who keeps obsessing over Hillary Clinton’s email scandal.”

“Guess you could say karma has finally been a bitch to him!” This was a reaction unlikely of Bernie but he decided to go for it anyway. His frustrations over Trump have been bottled up for too long, “Now we have two Presidential candidates with email scandals!”

“Alright Bernie, that’s enough!” Barack said, laying a hand on Bernie’s shoulder, “Hillary is still far better than Trump. That email scandal thing is just one issue. _One issue_. Besides, your political career isn’t dead yet. You’re wanted to become the Budget Committee Chair, after all.”

“My political career isn’t dead either!” Jill declared, “Surely, I’d lose this election but like what Bernie here has advised me, maybe I should contest for the down-ballot races after this. Work my way up like he did.”

“So…when do we out Donald Trump for “murdering” Ted Cruz?” Bernie asked, seeing to it that they do not divert themselves from the very reason they got together at this moment.

“We’ll release the reports the weekend before the election.” Barack spoke, “Jill here, is releasing attack ads around the same time. As for you, Bernie, I want you to ask your supporters to support the investigations.”

Jill scrolled down her phone to read a message, looking up at the Democrats to tell them, “My campaign manager just sent me a message, she says the attack ads are now in the initial stages of production. That’s quite good considering that we make these ads and release them within our own means. We’re not the establishment, you know!”

Just then, Barack’s phone rang and he mouthed “just one moment, please” to the two socialists he was speaking to, “Yes Justin? What! B-but that’s impossible.”

At this point, Bernie felt that they were about to face a setback. Jill was facepalming and hoping that Barack would sort this out as soon as possible.

“So Stephen Harper accidentally divulged our plans to Gary Johnson? What was he thinking! Doesn’t he know who Gary is?”

“No wonder the Canadians were so happy to dispose Harper!” Bernie remarked, “He can’t even be trusted with his own country? How the fuck do we expect him to be reliable in a transnational mission that’s supposed to be under wraps!”

“Should we take out Harper as well now?” Jill was feeling pretty dismayed about this.

“Alright, Bernie, Jill and I will try to sort this. Try to find a way to send him back to us, bro.”

“Did you just call the Prime Minister of Canada “bro”?” Jill may be used to alternative politics but this wasn’t the kind of alternative politics that she was used to. Calling a fellow world leader “bro” sounded too informal for her.

“Why not?” Barack cheekily asked, “We’ve been friends for quite a long time. He’s alright with it.”

“So, how are we supposed to fix Harper’s mess now?” Bernie asked, calling attention back to what they were supposed to do.

“We’re going to get people to get out and vote for Hillary!” Barack suggested, “With a concert.”

* * *

 

Fast forward to the morning after the US Elections, the exact opposite happened. Barack’s plan did push through. Jill and Gary did promise to be less aggressive. Bernie reminded his supporters not to write him in because he didn’t sign up to be a write-in candidate.

And yet…the former host of NBC’s _The Apprentice_ won more slots in the electoral votes despite Hillary Clinton winning the popular vote.

Democrats and Republicans who hated Trump resorted to calling on electors to become faithless electors as it could still guarantee a Clinton victory come 2017.

When November 28th rolled around, Trump had to face the court for the Trump University trial. In addition to that, Congress voted to investigate him for murdering Ted Cruz the day after.

However, signs of Trump being forfeited of the presidency were still bleak. It wasn’t helping either that Nigel Farage was still trying to pimp the British Prime Minister to him and the attempt seemed successful (well, just to the point that the Prime Minister herself acknowledged the need to coordinate with Trump as soon as possible with this whole “strengthening UK-US relations post-Brexit thing” but she wasn’t enthusiastic anyway).

Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders once again found themselves at a Five Guys. Barack wasn’t with them because he was busy preparing for transition. Although, someone else joined them in for the day – enter Lisa Marie Simpson, the Quad City teacher who happened to share the name of that character from _The Simpsons_.

“If we were to follow through the events of The Simpsons that predicted this election,” Bernie spoke, “A Lisa Simpson would succeed Trump as President.”

“And you, have exactly the same name as the Lisa Simpson from that show. She’s Lisa Marie Simpson and so are you!” Jill explained, “And don’t you worry about electability. You could win in 2020 as long as you stay out of the establishment and go for the grassroots.”

“And I’ll try to get you into the Democrat presidential nominee race too.” Bernie added, “You still have four more years to think this through. Just let Jill and I know when you’re ready.”

* * *

 

Five days since the first anniversary of Justin Trudeau’s premiership, a lot has changed. For one thing, Ted Cruz finally won the Calgary Heritage by-election and he was already sitting as an MP. And there was of course, the United States descending into chaos.

“Look Harper, look what you’ve done!” an enraged Rona Ambrose said to Stephen Harper as the television showing news on Trump’s victory blared, “If you didn’t disclose our plans to Gary Johnson, Clinton would be the President and not that fake spray tanned Conservative.”

“Rona, look, I was really sorry for that.” Stephen said in the most apologetic tone ever, “And I am still sorry for it. You and Justin can punish me in any way. Send Pierre Trudeau’s ghost to haunt me for being a traitor to his party, I don’t care, I deserve it anyway.” He added as he tried to hold back his tears.

Meanwhile, Justin was on the other end of the room fiddling with his phone when all of a sudden, it rang.

“Hello! This is Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada speaking. How may I help you?” Justin said in a cheerful voice.

Over the phone was Bernie Sanders, who told him that there is still one way for them to save the United States from Donald Trump.

“So you want me to declare war against you guys?” Justin asked over the phone, “And if we declared war on your country, it means Obama has to remain President?” and there was a visible smile on Justin’s face, answering Rona and Stephen’s suspicions that Justin and Barack were probably _really_ in love with each other.

“I shit you not, we’re declaring war against the United States?” Stephen wore a gobsmacked look on his face as Justin was on the phone with Bernie.

“Alright then, I’ll see what I can do with that, Senator Sanders.” Justin was for once, feeling a bit more hopeful than usual, “I’ll get back to you when I’ve thought of something.”

“So we’re declaring war on the United States?” Rona asked, “Say no more, Justin. If you need to pass a parliament resolution on that, my party has your full support.”

“And besides, this could be really useful for Ted’s career.” Stephen interjected, “His first vote will be to declare war on his former country to save them from Trump. A heroic act if you ask me. It would make him appear as an MP who does not only care for Canada but for its neighbors as well. Isn’t that what we Canadians stand for?”

“Well, I’m mostly a pacifist but…” Justin told the two Conservatives, “Let’s get down to business to defeat the Trump!”

And oh boy, 2016 was about to take another surprising turn…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're all wondering if the Quad City teacher named Lisa Marie Simpson is an actual person, [yes she is](http://kwqc.com/2016/03/04/quad-city-teacher-has-famous-simpsons-name/).


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After what seems to be forever, I've finally got around to updating this fic! 
> 
> Special thanks to social-justin-warrior from Tumblr for helping me come up with the "Canada invades Alaska" storyline!

The end of 2016 was getting closer. Although things took a better turn with Austria successfully rejecting a far-right government, there was still a lot of work to be done on the United States. As the rest of the world were still in the planning stages of ejecting far right governments, Canada has already brought up a plan in doing so.

“I have called you all here today to discuss a very important matter.” Justin Trudeau spoke, “The Leader of the Opposition and I have decided that we need to initiate a cross-party effort to suppress the influence of the far-right.”

“But what about the far left?” Kellie Leitch asked. Being the Trump fangirl that she was, she would naturally find these proceedings highly offensive.

“We’ve already suppressed them a long time ago.” Justin explained

“But you praised Fidel Castro!” Kellie interjected. She was having none of this. For one thing, she was very happy to see Trump win and she had a good time but now, she’s feeling so attacked.

“But I clarified my eulogy for him on a press conference following its release.” Justin was about to be so done with people thinking that he still hasn’t regretted that eulogy, “I am perfectly aware that Fidel Castro has a shitload of flaws and I will have you know that those aren’t flaws worth emulating!”

“Okay, break it up, you two!” Rona Ambrose spoke, pushing Justin Trudeau aside, “Look, these alt-right, far right, whatever you call them, aren’t even real conservatives to begin with. They simply decided to align with Conservatism because they thought it would make them look electable.”

And all of a sudden, the entire room fell silent. Even Kellie Leitch fell silent. So silent that she might never speak again for the rest of the meeting. Everyone nodded in agreement to Rona, even though not all of them support the Conservative Party.

“I’ll cut to the chase, everyone. We have plans to declare war on the United States.” Justin was then met with gasping all over the room. First of all, because nobody was expecting that announcement, especially from Justin Trudeau, “Now, you might be wondering why. You see, the United States has been our strongest partner and they have specifically requested that we declare a war on them to stop a Trump Presidency.”

“But isn’t Jill Stein doing something about that?” Elizabeth May, the leader of the Green Party of Canada asked.

“We need more than her electoral protests to get things done around here.” Rona explained, “Now, does anybody have an idea on how we can go about with this? We need a plan before we can propose this to Parliament.”

“The West Coast wants to leave the United States.” Ruth Ellen Brosseau, an NDP MP spoke, “Some of them want us to accept them as a new Canadian Province. Maybe we can “declare a war” on them.”

Of course, the Calexit (originally, only California wanted to leave, but other West Coast states followed).

“Can we invade all the states bordering Canada, then?” Gerard Deltell, a Conservative MP asked, “We can start with Vermont. Make them a part of Quebec so we can have more supply of maple syrup!”

“Thank you Mr. Deltell, that’s a wonderful idea.” Justin said, “But…does anyone else have any other ideas aside from him and Ms. Brosseau?”

“Oh, let’s invade Alaska!” Elizabeth May piped up, “Now, that would make _a lot_ of fucking sense! Alaska’s detached from the Mainland United States anyway and they look more like they can be a part of Canada than be a part of the US!”

“Alaska for the newest Canadian province? You know what, count me in!” Harjit Sajjan, the Minister of National Defense piped up. He was so down and ready to draft up plans on how to invade Alaska.

“Alright then, we will be invading the United States through Alaska.” Justin announced, “Now, Rona will be putting the vote forward at tomorrow’s Question Period.”

“Anyone who wants to be in the speaker’s list, make yourselves known so Geoff here can take note of you.” Rona spoke, pointing to Geoff Regan, the Speaker of the House of Commons.

Hands shot up on the air as Geoff Regan started to list down the people to whom these hands belong to. Oh, this was going to be really exciting. They actually managed to get most, or at least, half of the House of Commons to decide that going to war against Alaska was a good idea.

“Now, most of you are good with the idea of invading Alaska.” Justin’s voice boomed, “But…one of you people will have to speak of dissent. You know, just to give the USA the impression that we’re not so sure about this.”

“I got you, bro!” Thomas Mulcair shouted from the back

“You’re on bro terms with Justin now?” Rona Ambrose shot back

“Come on Rona, I smoked weed with him last night!” Thomas replied

“I didn’t need to know about that.” Rona shouted back

* * *

 

Ted Cruz was in his House of Commons office trying to draft a statement of support for Canada’s plans to invade the United States. With a heavy heart, he worked on the statement. Why with a heavy heart you ask? You see, Marco Rubio is still stuck in the United States. If they declared war this instant, God knows how fast Marco will be able to escape the military draft, the war, everything!

For the first time, he became unpatriotic to the United States (well what do you know, he is originally a Canadian after all) and would rather see Marco dodge the draft and run up north.

A knock on the door was heard and it was Ted’s secretary, “Ted, Question Period is in fifteen minutes. You might want to start walking to the chamber now before the division bell sounds off.”

“Alright, I’m coming.” Ted replied as he stood up and gathered his notes to read from. This was the first time he was to speak at the House of Commons despite being an MP for a few weeks already.

* * *

 

“The Honourable Rafael Cruz!” Geoff Regan called out

Ted stood up and moved himself closer to the microphone that was dangling on the ceiling so that people could hear him speak.

“Mr. Speaker, it is the best interest of the Canadian people that direct action be taken on the United States.” He started.

 _Poor Sarah Palin though_ , he thought to himself. After all, Sarah Palin was once his ally when he was still a Republican.

“The rise of the far right ideology dominating the United States and with a man who can’t even keep his own family together and then claim that he can save families.” Ted went on, “These are just one of the few dangers that the United States is facing right now. Not to mention that Americans of all backgrounds are scrambling to move to Canada. They are _that_ desperate because of the danger they are facing.”

He could imagine Marco right now, packing his bags, telling Jeanette and his daughters that they are going to get through this. That the Lord will bring them to Canada, or anywhere else outside the US really, safe and sound.

“Now, while Canada should be open to accept these American refugees. Does the Prime Minister think we shouldn’t stop at just accepting these refugees to fix these issues?” Ted continued, “Does the Prime Minister consider taking a direct involvement with the US through invasion an option as well?”

Ted took a deep breath then sat down as his side of the House of Commons cheered for him. Then, Justin stood up and addressed Ted.

“Mr. Speaker, the Member for Calgary Heritage does have valid concerns.” Justin spoke, “And in fact, my cabinet and I have started to draw up plans on how we should address this issue. Our government has helped Ukraine fend off invaders in the Crimea, our government sends peacekeeping crops to troubled nations. It would only be right for us to do something for the Americans as well – especially because they are our closest neighbors, our strongest allies!”

Justin was feeling very concerned with Barack as he made that speech. Deep inside, he wanted this session over and done with. He wanted the motion to invade the United States passed. He wanted to go straight into the war room and send the troops to Alaska. Anything to make Barack’s prolonged stay at the White House happen sooner.

After making the speech, Justin sat down.

“Thomas Mulcair.” Geoff Regan called out. Swiftly, Tom stood up and adjusted his lapel mic so that he could be heard properly.

“Monsieur le Président, il semble que le premier ministre et le député de Calgary Heritage ne soient pas d'accord pour suggérer que nous déclarions la guerre contre les États-Unis.”

( _Mr. Speaker, it seems that both the Prime Minister and the Member for Calgary Heritage are out of their mind in suggesting that we declare war against the USA_ )

As Tom spoke those words, members of the Parliament from both sides of the benches started to heckle him - in French and in English in fact. This was Canada after all.

“Commande! Commande! J'aimerais entendre ce que le député a à dire!” Geoff shouted, hoping to bring order back to the House of Commons before the MPs start ganging up on Tom and on each other.

( _Order! Order! I'd like to hear what the member has to say!_ )

“Les membres de cette maison sont-ils d'accord avec moi?” Tom continued

( _Do the members of this house agree with me?)_

And once more, Tom Mulcair was met with more heckling coming from both sides of the house. It was clear enough – a war against USA was to be in order.

* * *

 

After what seemed to be endless debates and someone getting elbowed by accident by Ted Cruz, the House of Commons finally reached a decision – a decision which was to declare war on the United States. A decision that will involve invading Alaska.

And since that day, Alaska would never be the same again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hyder, Alaska – January 1, 2017**

On the morning of the New Year, residents of Hyder in Alaska were jolted awake by loud music blasted on speakers. As far as they knew, no one was throwing those loud New Year’s parties in the area. That was more of a big city kind of thing. Hyder was a small town so New Year’s Eve celebrations did not consist of blasting music loudly until six in the morning.

When people looked out of the windows, they saw tanks rolling into town. This did not alarm them though as they thought that it was probably just the US Military being sent up for security (after all, Hyder was a border town, of course Homeland Security needs to keep an extra eye on them even if it meant sending the military up).

It wasn’t until they saw a Canadian flag popping up from one of the tanks when they started to worry.

And if that wasn’t enough, add in the fact that the loud music being blasted on the speakers was an upbeat song that was probably called “Smoke Weed Everyday”.

Then they concluded. Canada was coming after them in the most obvious way possible. And they do not know why.

Out of fright, some residents jumped under their beds – others decided they should face these Canadians and so they stormed on the streets, ready to block the tanks.

“If we’re going to die, we’re doing it for America!” A man shouted as he prepared to charge

One woman started singing to the Star-Spangled Banner and she was joined by everyone else who were out to block the Canadians.

The singing was interrupted midway by a Canadian soldier who emerged from the tank with a megaphone in hand, shouting “We come in peace!” and again saying the same thing in French.

* * *

 

**_Meanwhile at the White House_ **

“Justin, you absolute madman!” Barack excitedly shouted over the phone, “You actually accepted my offer to declare war on my country. You fucking genius! I am NOT leaving the White House after all!”

“Anything for you, Barack.” Justin said on the other line, “Like what we agreed, we’re going to exercise as much maximum tolerance as possible. We’ll give them the freedom to choose whether they’d like to go bilingual like the rest of Canada, for example.”

“So when do I send my military to attempt reclaiming Alaska?” Barack asked

“Do that later today. Put some delay or something. Hype up the worry, darling.” Justin suggested, “And besides, you do need to buy yourself some time to gather your defense officials at the situation room, right?”

“Point taken, Justin!” Barack replied, “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this. _I fucking can’t_!”

* * *

 

**_Calgary, Alberta_ **

“Congratulations Rafael! We just declared war on the United States!” Rona Ambrose said as she handed Ted Cruz that day’s issue of The Globe and Mail.

The headline read: **FROM USA TO US-EH: CANADA DECLARES WAR AGAINST THE US**

“So are you bringing my family up here?” Ted asked in a hopeful tone. He hoped that the Conservative Party kept true to their promise that if he cooperates, he gets reunited with his family.

“Correction. We already did.” Rona said with a smile, “Open up the front door, Rafael.”

And Ted did as instructed and walked up to the front door of his house where he was met by his wife, Heidi and his daughters, Catherine and Caroline whom he had not seen for months. Without thinking twice, he launched himself into enveloping them into a hug.

“Ted, we missed you so much!” Heidi said tearfully, “I never thought we’d see you again and we thought you’ve actually died.”

“Heidi, I’m here. I’m alive.” Ted said as he wiped the tears off Heidi’s eyes with his finger

“Daddy! You’re alive!” Catherine said as he hugged back her father

“Yes sweetheart, daddy is alive and well.” Ted said as he crouched down to give Catherine and her sister a hug.

“H-how did you three get here?” Ted was curious about how Rona managed to get them into Canada in time for the war to be declared.

“The CIA told us you were here and got us into Canada just before they declared war against Alaska.” Heidi explained, “We’re lucky we got here just in time. God knows how long until this war escalates to include the rest of the United States!”

Rona then walked up to the door, saying, “And by the way Ted, your wife and children have been issued Canadian passports already. Their citizenship is to come in the next few months.”

“You must be Rona Ambrose, right?” Heidi asked as she approached the Canadian Opposition leader, “I’m Heidi Cruz, I believe you’ve already heard of me.”

“Yes, Rona Ambrose, in the flesh!” Rona replied, “I’ve heard of you, of course. Your husband has been telling me so much about you and the girls. He missed you three a lot.”

“Well, the CIA already briefed us about why my husband ended up here in Canada.” Heidi told Rona, “And while I found it shocking at first, I have come to accept it. The USA is way too chaotic to raise a family in these days – especially when that Orange Tan Man won.”

“I thought you were fine with him?” Rona curiously asked

“No. We just had to pretend so the GOP wouldn’t harass us.” Heidi replied, “We’re living in hard times, indeed. No words can express how grateful am I that you were able to help my husband use his Canadian citizenship to his advantage.”

“Heidi, you and children are Canadians from now on.” Rona told her as she laid a palm on her shoulder, “ ** _Welcome to Canada_**!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, here is the tenth chapter of this fic and I'd like to wish all the readers of this fic a Happy New Year! 
> 
> The next chapter of this fic is going to be an exciting one so stay tuned!

_It is said that in this chaotic world, there are only two possible places that good people end up in – in the afterlife and in Canada. Of course, the former is where good people ended up when 2016 literally took their lives. The former, being where the living good people ended up in when they decided that enough is finally enough with being subjected to living in such a toxic place._

Jennifer Lopez then slammed her journal shut and set it aside on the desk. It was a month since she moved to Toronto and she was just getting adjusted to Canada. The move was a result of a mutual decision that she and her boyfriend, Drake, decided upon. They decided that their careers, and moreover, their lives were better off in Canada because for one thing, it’s currently not overrun by fascists or in a state of war. Meanwhile in the United States, they’re having problems with reacquiring Alaska back from Canada and taming the fascists that Donald Trump unleashed (and the fact that Trump is under custody for the ongoing trial on his part in Ted Cruz’s “death” isn’t helping either).

“Jennifer, honey? Everything alright?” Drake asks from the door of their bedroom

“Drake, I’m good.” Jennifer replies, “It’s just that sometimes, I miss the United States. I mean I am happy here in Canada and Max and Emme are very happy too. It’s just that – did you ever get this feeling when you moved from Canada to the US?”

“Homesickness. It’s normal, Jennifer.” Drake now walked closer, putting a reassuring hand on his beau’s shoulder, “It’s only been a month. Don’t expect yourself to adjust so quickly yet!”

Outside the room, Max and Emme were eating up all the Timbits that Drake had bought them. He had figured out on the day when he first took them to a Tim Hortons that they really loved Timbits. The twins aced their first quiz since moving to Canada which made Drake decided that a box of Timbits for them was in place.

“Max, Emme, you two make sure to clean up the living room after finishing your Timbits!” Jennifer shouted from the bedroom

“ _Si_ , mama!” Max and Emme shouted in unison

Jennifer then turned back to Drake and asked, “I heard President Obama is coming up to Ontario this weekend to negotiate with the Prime Minister.”

There were indeed news of that – Obama had decided that the US try a peaceful approach at first in convincing Canada to cease their occupation in Alaska. Negotiations were necessary for this, it would be too risky for the US to go straight to blowing up Canada – especially on these days when the US was trying so hard to remain a “bastion of peace” (which is really something that Canada is better at, unless a far right Conservative MP like Kellie Leitch decides to pass a motion to blow up Alaska).

“I know.” Drake replied, “And I do hope they reach a peaceful solution although I believe it will take months – or even a year until they decide on something.” And for some reason, Drake and Jennifer found something comforting with that, maybe it was the thought of “one more year of Obama”.

“Well, if all else fails, NATO can always intervene, I heard David Cameron is the leader-in-waiting.” Jennifer said, pulling out a copy of The Globe and Mail from a pile on her desk. She flipped the page to the International News section which showed a headline of the UK winning NATO leadership (and Cameron assuming the role as leader).

“I doubt Cameron can sort them out.” Drake mused, “He’s fell out of favor with the world, with his own country even. How do you expect Obama and Trudeau to heed his words.” And now Drake was having war flashbacks of the day Cameron resigned after the Brexit Referendum. That was the day he officially lost favor of his country.

“Why don’t you look at it this way, _mi amor_.” Jennifer tells Drake as she turned around to face him, “NATO might be just Cameron’s way of redeeming himself to his country and to his world. Heck, he’s lucky his country gave him another chance.”

Drake looked out of the window, musing what Jennifer just told him. Jennifer might be right, perhaps that _pigfucker_ who fell out of favor with his country was really given a second chance…

* * *

“Peter, can you give me updates on the war between the United States and Canada?” A man asked behind the desk of the NATO Secretary General’s office.

“Mr. Cameron, President Obama and Prime Minister Trudeau are meeting over the weekend.” Peter, David Cameron’s secretary spoke. David Cameron was just a month into his position as the NATO Secretary General – a position he was thrust into after the previous NATO Secretary General suddenly resigned two years before he was scheduled to step down, “They plan to negotiate in order to end the war peacefully.”

“Anything else, Peter?” David asked as he played with the pen on his desk, reveling over the fact that this would be too easy for him. He feels that Obama and Trudeau are not up to bombing each other, hence, there’s really no need for him to intervene.

“That is all.” Peter said.

“Oh, and Peter. Don’t go just yet,” David said, “I need to ask you an important question.”

“What is it, sir?” Peter asked, wondering if David was going to ask him about his predecessor again. Peter had been the secretary to the previous Secretary General as well – a fact that David Cameron took advantage of by asking what the previous NATO Secretary General was like.

“Have you ever had this feeling of feeling _really hesitant_ when you’ve been given a second chance?” David said as he now spun his pen on the desk. As soon as he was given the job of NATO Secretary General, part of him had intense hesitation about whether he should assert his leadership or not. After all, he hasn’t really healed from screwing up the United Kingdom with the Brexit Referendum.

“Sir. I-I may not be the right person to answer that question.” Peter said as he turned around to face his boss, “I’ve gone through that, yes, but not to the magnitude that you have experienced. All I could say is that hesitation is normal in situations where you are given greater responsibility all of a sudden.”

“Listen here, lad. If you don’t mind me asking,” David said as he fixed his eyes on Peter, “What exactly is this experience of yours that makes you think you could relate with me?” There was still a lot he didn’t know about his secretary that he needed to know. He believed that if he and his subordinates knew each other so well, it was essential to a better working relationship.

“Sir, being the secretary to the Secretary General was a sudden promotion I got after my predecessor resigned a year ago.” Peter said, “Before this, I was just a messenger for the Secretary General’s office. Quite a huge leap, isn’t it?”

“Right. Thank you, Peter.” David told him, “You may go back to your desk now.”

And so, Peter walked out of David’s office. David meanwhile, realized that he might start to ease to being NATO Secretary General. Especially with a secretary like Peter who seems to be sympathetic to him. He doesn’t know why. Maybe it was because Peter happened to be British? But then, he might be a Labour supporter.

So what was it exactly that made Peter sympathetic of him?

* * *

The weekend came and the much-awaited meeting between US President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had taken place. The press were crowded outside Rideau Hall, the official residence of the Canadian Prime Minister. The meeting was to take place at Justin’s office in his residence for a reason that no one could seem to get from the Prime Minister’s Office (or the White House).

“Welcome to Canada, President Obama!” Justin Trudeau said as he extended his hand for Barack Obama to shake.

“We’ve known each other for like what? Two years.” Barack playfully quipped, “No need for formalities Justin, call me Barack!”

“Right,” Justin said, “Welcome to Canada, Barack! Although we all know you’ve been here a few times already.” He added, referring to the Three Amigos Summit and the visits he made to Canada while Harper was still Prime Minister.

“President Obama, what is the agenda for your meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister?” An American Journalist in the crowd asked.

“I plan to discuss with the Canadian Prime Minister on how we can diffuse the situation of Canada’s occupation in Alaska.” Barack said confidently, “Diffusing the situation is the first step to peacefully putting an end to the occupation and I assure you that the United States’ best interests will be represented on this one.”

_Meanwhile in Arkansas, United States…_

“Yeah, that’s what you’d like us to think.” Jim Bob Duggar muttered as she watched the President of the United States on television.

Jana Duggar knew very well how that meeting was to turn out. Without her father’s knowledge, she has ventured into freelance photography – going as far as covering events in the White House. This earned her a place in the White House’s press pool as Pete Souza’s protégé when he saw that she had potential. In her works, she had herself credited as Marie Ruark – taking Marie from her legal name and Ruark from her mother’s maiden name.

What she knew of this meeting was that President Obama would actually propose for the Alaskan occupation to last longer – putting its end by the Spring of 2018. Whether the Canadian Prime Minister would agree or not is another story. Besides that, all she knew was that the Alaskan invasion was something that Obama and Trudeau mutually agreed on – for reasons she wasn’t told of (and she wouldn’t ask for those reasons, as a trainee photographer for the US President, she isn’t in the right position to ask for that).

Jana, or Marie, as she was known to the public that credited her photographic works for the White House, chose to sit out of President Obama’s meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister – as to prevent suspicions on her from being raised.

She was blessed at this point that her younger siblings who did know about her White House photography gig promised to keep it a secret. Going as far as Joy-Anna borrowing her older sister from the Duggar household from time to time so that she could help look after her baby (when in fact, Joy-Anna simply drove her to the airport).

Her phone buzzed and when she checked, it was a message from Pete Souza with an image of the Canadian Prime Minister and the US President. The message said:

_This is what you missed. Hope you could cover their next bilateral meeting._

And Jana breathed a sigh of relief. Her chance to cover Obama and Trudeau’s bilateral meetings on the Alaskan occupation was not over, after all.

* * *

_Calgary, Alberta_

“Ted, it’s Marco again.” A visibly irritated Heidi said as she called Ted from across the living room. Ever since Marco and Ted crossed paths at the Calgary City Hall, Marco wouldn’t stop calling him. Heidi has come to terms with Marco’s attraction for Ted but she was pissed as fuck with Marco’s indecisiveness of whether he should come after Ted in Canada or stay behind in the United States.

“Thanks, honey!” Ted said as he swiftly took the phone from Heidi’s hands, “Oh, hello Marco! Why did you have to call me up?”

“I change my mind! I’m coming to Canada!” Marco shouted. _Finally, he’s decided!_ Heidi thought to herself, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Are you bringing Jeanette and the kids along?” Ted asked. He needed to know so he could hook Marco up with the real estate agents in the area. Otherwise, if Marco were coming alone, he could get him a condo in the downtown.

“I’m going there, _alone_!” Marco declared, “And as we speak, I am waiting for my plane for Calgary. Trust me Ted, I will be there before you know it!” and Ted at this point, was just so gobsmacked. He did expect Marco to take his time to decide but he sure as hell did not expect him to decide today and then act on it on the same day.

“How about your wife and children?” Ted asked, visibly worried.

“They’re in Nova Scotia. They went ahead of me. I want to see you first.” Marco replied. _Good, he’s brought his family into Canada_ , Ted thought.

“So you’ve got a place to stay in Nova Scotia?” Ted asked, wanting to be sure that Marco is already settled by the time he has moved in Canada for good.

“Yup. In Cape Breton. A kind couple offered Heidi and I a job at a general store. Not exactly our line of work but we take whatever is given to us.” Marco said, “Consider it a blessing, we have our own home now. God has been very kind, Ted.”

“I’m so relieved!” Ted said, “I thought they were going to draft you into the military and send you to Alaska. Thank God that didn’t happen!” Gone were the days when Marco and Ted were patriotic enough to be open to the possibility of being drafted into the military should the US go into another war. As soon as Alaska was invaded by Canada, they realized that wishing to be drafted wasn’t worth it – especially with Trump being the President.

“A friend in the military told me that they were drafting men in Florida next.” Ted listened on intently to his lover, “So Jeanette and I finally made the decision to move up north. I’m very happy of this decision. It also means I get to see you more.”

“So when do I expect for you to swing by here?” Ted asked in an excited tone

“In three hours.” Marco replied

“See you soon, Marco!” Ted said

“See you soon, _mi amor_.” Was Marco’s reply


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In commemoration of the rather unsuccessful (based on the live audience turnout) US Presidential Inauguration this year, I present to you, a new chapter of this fanfiction! This one's for the Crubio shippers!

Marco and Ted were now on board a taxi going to The Westin Calgary. After Ted received Marco’s call, he hurriedly booked a room to the said hotel. They needed some time alone, thankfully, Heidi understood how much her husband missed his colleague – and so, he allowed him to have a night with Marco.

As the taxi made its way from the airport to The Westin Calgary, “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion was on the radio. That, gave Marco more awareness that he was now in Canada. After all, Celine Dion was distinctly Canadian. Like Avril Lavigne, The Tragically Hip and… _Nickleback_. Marco shuddered at the thought of Nickleback being Canadians like the legendary Celine Dion, but hey, maybe that’s just how things are in the Great White North.

_Every night in my dreams_

_I see you, I feel you,_

_That is how I know you go on_

Marco remembered those nights prior to this day. Those nights when Ted Cruz would constantly appear in his dreams. Asking him to “run away to Canada with me”. Whenever Marco woke up from those dreams, he had this feeling of confusion. It’s like he wanted to go to Canada but at the same time, the patriot in him wanted for him to stay in the United States.

Day after day, he would convince himself that a Trump presidency wouldn’t be so bad.

That he would be able to weather it all.

That he would eventually be reunited with Ted again after that brief encounter they had at the Calgary City Hall.

However, reality turned out to be more painful.

Yes, the Trump presidency was stalled – but what it gave in exchange was a war between Canada and the United States. Uncertainty on his safety – on the safety of his family. Plus, it dawned him that if he got drafted, he wouldn’t be able to survive the rigorous training in the military.

And he can’t bring himself to kill a Canadian should he survive the training and get sent in the front lines at Alaska.

To top it all off, one of his dreams with Ted involved this: He, Marco, was at the American side of the front lines, while Ted was on the Canadian side – the skies were grim, and Ted was literally begging him to just shoot him.

Then, he decided, relocating to Canada would be for the best.

And damn it was the best for he was finally reunited with his one and only.

_Far across the distance_

_And spaces between us_

_You have come to show you go on_

Ted’s first months in Canada were rather gloomy despite his Canadian “sponsors” doing their best to make life better for him. He felt some sort of emptiness with the absence of his wife, children and his beloved Marco.

That was until he became a Member of the Canadian Parliament and Rona Ambrose did good on her promise – which was to bring his family back to him. If he wasn’t blessed enough on that day, Marco called him up to tell him that he has relocated his family to Canada – in Nova Scotia.

They may be on opposite ends of Canada after this night but the fact that they are in the same country is already comforting enough. Ted couldn’t be more thankful. Maybe Florida men being drafted for the military _that soon_ was a blessing in disguise.

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

The taxi finally pulled over to the driveway of The Westin Calgary. A bellhop opened the door for the two men – and out of the cab they walked out. The same bellhop then helped them with their luggage. When Marco and Ted finished checking in, they went straight to the hotel room – with the bellhop trailing behind them.

When they got to the room, Marco hurriedly fished a fiver and handed it to the bellhop – then, took his luggage from the bellhop’s hands. The bellhop thanked him and the door closed, now Marco and Ted were finally alone.

_Love can touch us one time_

_And last for a lifetime_

_And never let go 'til we're gone_

Ted now had his arms around Marco, the Texan-turned-back-into-a-Canadian leaned towards his lover from Miami, whispering to him, “You’re finally in my arms now, _mi amor_.” Marco, his lover from Miami, returned the sweet words with a soft kiss to his lips. Mesmerized would be the feeling that Ted was having right now as Marco turned around to face him.

Not wanting to waste more time, Ted guided Marco to the bed, softly pushing him down on the surface. There, the tango of limbs and lips continued, with Ted caressing Marco’s face in the process. Slow, yet, passionate would be a good description of this moment.

Ted’s hands moved down to Marco’s pants and slowly, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them down. Marco’s bulge was definitely prominent and Ted traced his finger on it, noting how hard the bulge was. Because Ted realized that Marco came from a long trip and denying him orgasm wouldn’t be so helpful, he proceeded to rid him of his boxers.

Lo and behold, the almighty Mr. 305 came flying out of Marco Rubio’s boxers. The tip was rounded and shiny from the pre cum and this was why Ted Cruz likened Marco Rubio’s cock to the famous rapper from Miami.

_Love was when I loved you_

_One true time I hold to_

_In my life we'll always go on_

“My…Mr. 305 here looks so ready to get off!” Ted said, referring to Marco’s cock

“Why on earth are you naming my dick after Pitbull?” Marco asked as he laughed, the stress from his long trip starting to wane away. Oh, Ted knew how to calm down his nerves.

“The question is, _why can’t I_?” Ted shot back as he started to pump Marco’s cock with his hands

“I didn’t say you can’t!” Marco protested as he started to grasp on the bedsheets, “It’s just that…nobody has ever called my dick _Mr. 305_.”

“If you had become President of the United States, I would have been calling your dick _Mr. Worldwide_ by now.” Ted remarked, “Unfortunately, the Cheeto with a microdick had to rob you of the job, eh?”

At this point, Marco was reaching the peak of his orgasm and damn, he was so ready to shoot his load. It didn’t matter at this point if his Mr. 305 shot its load on the ceiling or straight to Ted Cruz’s face. The point is, he needed to shoot his load – NOW!

“THE HONOURABLE MEMBER OF CALGARY HERITAGE JUST MADE ME COME!” Was all that Marco could shout when he hit orgasm. His load was shooting all over the place – some went to the ceiling of the hotel room, others went straight to Ted Cruz’s face.

Marco then collapsed on the mattress and stared at the ceiling, basking in afterglow – and shocked at the fact that his Mr. 305 went so out of control that it ruined the ceiling. “What have you made me done, Ted?” Marco asked.

“I gave you a happy ending. Dalé!” Ted said confidently, imitating the Miami born-and-raised rapper, Pitbull.

“Look, I have nothing against your apparent Pitbull obsession,” Marco said, “But how are we going to explain _that thing_ on the ceiling when we check out?” he added as he pointed to blotches of his cum that ended up on the ceiling.

“Trust me Marco, I, the _Honourable Member of Calgary Heritage_ , got this.”

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Alaska still occupied by Canada, the United States is temporarily spared from a Trump Presidency as Obama remains the president. Meanwhile, France is about to lean to the far right and Justin Trudeau decides to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back after three months of not updating this. Thanks to the French elections, I've already got an idea on how to take this fic further.

"Well, looks like we still have one more problem." British Prime Minister Theresa May said on a phone call with her Canadian counterpart, Justin Trudeau, "Marine Le Pen made it through the second round of the French Presidential elections. No way in hell am I ever going to deal with that woman."

"So what do you want me to do, Prime Minister?" Justin asked in an empathetic tone. He too, did not want to have to deal with France with Marine Le Pen as president. 

"I want you to do something about Le Pen. I don't care how, just make sure she does not become President of France, and in turn, Co-Princess of Andorra." Theresa said, her voice still stern like she's telling off Jeremy Corbyn, "Her Majesty has confided with me that she would never want to speak to Le Pen, whether in her capacity as the Head of State for France or the Monarch of Andorra." 

"Say no more, Prime Minister." Justin said with a comforting tone, "You called up the right man for the job."

"You better be what you claim to be." Theresa warned, "Or there will be repercussions."

Ever since Canada invaded Alaska, Justin Trudeau was viewed favorably by people, mainly because he never bombed Alaska and allowed people to live their lives as usual, provided that they acknowledge that they're being run by Canada in the meantime. Not that they were complaining, they were geographically closer to Canada and they wanted a way out of Trump - and it worked quite perfectly.

* * *

"So are you saying we're invading France now?" Rona Ambrose asked in a shocked voice. She didn't think Justin was going to be this ambitious with his whole "save the world from the far-right" thing.

"Looks like that's what we're going to do." Justin said as he walked around his office, "You only have a month until you step down from the Conservative Party leadership. Let's make the most out of this, Rona."

"May 7th, that's the day of the second round of the French Presidential elections." Rona said, "We have less than a month to plan something."

"It's time for me to go back to my drama teacher roots, then." Justin announced

"What do you mean?" Rona asked, with a shocked expression on her face. What does he mean? Is he resigning from being Prime Minister and being MP of Papineau to go back to his former career?

"Emmanuel Macron has a thing for drama teachers. I _was_ a drama teacher." Justin spoke

"I think you are onto something." Rona said

"You are right." Justin replied, "I am using that to get myself closer to Macron, to help him win the French Presidency, and to end Le Pen once and for all. Trump will be less stronger without her."

"So you're going to flirt at him? Get him to fall in love with you?" Rona asked

"Better! I'll disguise myself as his wife, Brigitte Trogneux." Justin said triumphantly, "And don't you doubt me. I _was_ an actor too. I will find a way to make this happen."

"Listen Pretty Boy." Rona said in a stern voice now, "You better not mess this up. I believe in you, but this is a very ambitious move. This involves more effort than walking into Alaska to invade it."

* * *

"So, are you here to audition for the Canadian edition of my show?" RuPaul said as he sat on his swivel chair, facing the wall. He had relocated to Canada to start the Canadian edition of RuPual's Drag Race, "You know, having the incumbent Canadian Prime Minister as one of my Queens is quite unusual, but this can help with the ratings."

"Actually RuPaul, that's not what I came here for." Justin said as he fiddled with his fingers, "I need your help. I'm on a mission to stop Marine Le Pen from taking over France. I have to disguise myself as Brigitte Trogneux. It's the closest I can get to Emmanuel Macron to help him win the French Presidency."

"So you want me to do you a make-over, into this Macron man's beau?" RuPaul asked

"Exactly." Justin said, "I trust that you can do the job well."

"Consider it a deal." RuPaul said as he turned around, "But only if you show up as a guest judge to the Canadian edition of my show!"

"Absolutely!" Justin replied, "So, is it a deal?" he added as he stood up, then reached his hand for RuPaul to shake. RuPaul stood up and shook Justin's hand - and that was the start of Justin's quest to save France from Marine Le Pen. In addition to that, Justin scored himself a gig at RuPaul's Drag Race: Canada - not as one of the Queens, but as one of the guest judges. 

Before Justin knew it, he was hauled off by RuPaul's Pit Crew into the RuPaul's Drag Race workroom where the would-be contestants of RuPaul's Drag Race: Canada would spend most of their time in the show. RuPaul himself took charge of transforming the Prime Minister of Canada into the future First Lady of France - because someone has got to help Canada save France from a fascist. 


End file.
